Yes, there is a side distant to me; which is my own yet abandoned. It was lost somewhere between the mob of those numerous selves I own. And every-time I had to carry a blame or name a desire they grew over by one more and thus kept multiplying.
Now even I wasn’t aware which self of mine was real and which was fake; the angry or sad, emotional or jealous, materialistic or altruistic. The one for my parents, the one for my partner or the one who was called mom.
How can I listen to that voice of real me, how can I search it between this horde of my selves? Each one of them has a point to say; each one of them has a heart not to break.
I wish someone could guide me through this muster of selves. I get scared, as each self of me reprehensibly stares at me as I pass through them.
How would I ever be able to recognize which one of them is the real me?
How would I find that distant side of me which has never voiced but is silently waiting for me on the other side of this confusion?
Some wise men say it resides someplace where only spirituality could permeate, some call it nirvana and some bliss. Some find it along with peace while other restless few in tranquility and intoxication or maybe that’s just an excuse for their addiction.
After searching for it everywhere I finally found it.It was always there with me between the silence of my thoughts; behind the darkness of my blinking eyes. It was placed somewhere beneath my desires and above my satisfaction. The obfuscation of ignorance had mastered in concealing it.
It was always a companion of my solitude. It was always between that emptiness within me; carefully filling those lacuna of my failures and even within the scum of my thoughts that I myself averted.
Now we walk in harmony, hand in hand; because now that once distant self is the only self that I own.